Attachment: A Lifelong Commitment

Many people use the terms "bonding" and "attachment" as if they were the same. Actually they mean quite different things. Bonding has to do with the parent’s tie to the infant that occurs in the first hours of life. We think of bonding as occurring almost instantly, when the parent first has contact with the infant at birth. That may be a magical moment for parents, but babies do not quite realize the first moments after birth as critical to building relationships with parents. Although babies do enjoy the closeness they feel with parents immediately after birth, bonding is basically a parent phenomenon.

The term "attachment" refers to a relationship between baby and parent that develops gradually and builds over a long period of time— both parties take a role in the relationship— you could call it a lifelong partnership.

Babies come into the world ready to build relationships with the adults who care for them. Babies communicate with caregivers by gazing at their faces, recognizing their familiar voices, grasping their fingers, smiling at them, and crying when they need or want them.

As babies grow, they develop new ways of communicating and responding to caregivers. If parents learn their baby's cues and provide experiences that the baby finds consistent and responsive to his needs, he will develop a trust in himself and in others--a secure attachment relationship. It takes time for trust to develop, beginning from the earliest interactions between baby and caregiver through the first year of life.

Because this process is one of building a long-term relationship, even infants who did not have immediate contact with their parent (due to adoption, illness, or premature birth) can become securely attached. Even attachment that is not secure at the end of the first year may change for the better if circumstances improve.

Just as relationships between adults are based on what they do together over time, infant/caregiver attachment is also build upon all that is shared over the weeks, months and year of early childhood.

Baby's Intellectual Development

A few years back, thanks to the advent of computer animation, filmmakers found audiences were entertained by the notion of understanding what babies might actually be communicating in the “Look Who’s Talking” movie series. Were it so easy. While babies appear to have “dialogue” with one another and can get quite a conversation rolling with baby babble, experts say that babies are still working on “mamma,” “dada,” and “no” until they’re between 8 and 15 months old.


Still, at around nine months, babies are steadily increasing their ability to communicate. At this point they can probably respond to a few words such as their “name,” “bottle,” “no,” or “ball.” That babble they offer in return is their way of developing their first words so it’s important to play dialogue games with babies. As far as they know, they ARE talking with you. Talking back to them will encourage babies to develop their vocabulary.

Babies will begin to explore their environments at this stage as well. They are curious and will spend a lot of time investigating things. They now understand cause and effect and the concept of object permanence. Before now, if a baby cannot see an object, the object does not seem to exist for him or her. This is the time to start playing peek-a-boo, to bring out the pop-up toys and to read books with big pictures. These activities will further stimulate their intellectual development.

Baby Sleep Safety

Making the announcement to friends and family that you've got a baby on the way is usually cause for celebration. Expectant parents can often become overwhelmed by the good-natured advice that friends and family are so willing to share. However, what was considered a good practice when our mothers were raising us, like putting a baby to bed face down, was really a very bad choice.

One of every parent's greatest nightmares is SIDS, or Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, the leading cause of death for infants one month to one year old. With greater awareness of safe sleeping practice, SIDS has declined by more than 50% since 1994, yet continues to claim approximately 2,000 babies each year—90% of which occur before they're six months old.

According to The National SIDS/Infant Death Resource Center, there are a number of things parents can do to prevent SIDS, suffocation, or strangulation. For example, place your baby on his or her back and remove all soft bedding from the crib. Also, make certain the crib meets the safety standards of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission. Likewise, never allow your baby to sleep in an adult bed, as tempting as it may be to cuddle up in the middle of the night.

Talking With Your Baby

One of the most important things that your child must learn is how to talk. On average, a child will say his or her first word at 12 months of age and may start speaking anywhere from 8 to 18 months of age. Toddlers are capable of speaking two-word sentences. By the time your child turns three, he or she will have a rather large vocabulary. At six years, your child will know about 10,000 words and will be a capable conversationalist.

Your child’s language skills show how well his or her brain and thought processes are developing. Children also develop emotionally and build social skills through conversation. In fact, early language skills help children to adjust more easily to difficult circumstances. That’s how important it is to learn how to communicate with others.

Research shows that toddlers with advanced language development are more likely to do well socially, academically, and behaviorally in later childhood. How and when your child’s language develops depends on the circumstance. For example, girls’ vocabulary generally grows faster than boys. Cautious toddlers who are more reserved may take more time to understand words before they begin to speak.

There are many ways you can help your child learn to talk. This can be done by finding natural opportunities in everyday situations to encourage communication. Here are a couple of suggestions to help your child’s language skills:

• From the moment your child is born, talk to your baby. You can call the child’s name, sing to him or her and read books out loud.
• Use “child directed speech” or CDS. CDS involves speaking in a high-pitched voice, using short sentences, pausing between phrases, enunciating clearly, using expressive emotional tones, and repeating new words in different contexts.
• Talk to your baby during daily routines, such as when you change diapers, cuddle and feed, bathe and dress baby.
• Repeat the noises your baby makes and encourage him or her to imitate the sounds you make.
• Point out objects to the baby and call them by name. Say to your baby, “See the chair, see the bird, see the truck.”
• Refer to what you are doing during daily activities. For example, say, “It’s time to change your diaper.” Or “We’re eating breakfast.”
  
  Resource:
  Talking With Your Child: http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/HE/HE86000.pdf