Children and Chores

Children who have regular household chores not only help keep the family home running smoothly, but also learn responsibility and the skills they will need for their own homes. There are several steps parents can take to make the process work for everyone.

First, make chores part of the child’s routine so that their jobs are done at regular times. A chart or list of chores can help children remember, and so can a simple reminder like, “It’s trash time.” Teach the child how to do the job by first showing and explain how it’s done, let them try while you watch, then let them do it on their own.

Experts advise parents to start early in assigning children their own chores based on what they can safely do at certain ages. Even a 3-year-old can help set the table. Older children can vacuum, help prepare dinner, load the dishwasher and run the washer and dryer. Don’t underestimate your children. The same child who runs a complicated computer game can certainly manage the washer and dryer!

Grandparent Care

For centuries, grandparents have been an important source of support and care for grandchildren, and grandparent care is still common.

According to a study conducted by the nonprofit research center, Child Trends, today’s grandparents provide care “when parents are at work, out for the evening, or must be away for a short time,” such as to run errands, keep doctor’s appointments, or attend social events. Using data from two national surveys, Child Trends found that nearly one half of all grandparents give some type of childcare to their grandchildren. Not surprisingly, grandparents who live nearby are more likely to provide child care than those who live far away.

Grandparents do give substantial time to care. The study found that about 70% of young children in grandparent care received care for more than 10 hours per week, and almost half were in grandparent care for more than 20 hours. When thinking about grandparents and grandchildren, you might imagine a doting grandmother, and this study found that 54% of care was provided by grandmothers. However, more than one third of grandfathers provided care.

This research suggests that grandparents play an important role in family life by providing care for grandchildren, during parents’ work and non-work hours. This can be an opportunity for grandparents and grandchildren to build their personal relationship, cement family bonds, and also to pass on family traditions, history and values.

Reference

Guzman, L. (2004). Grandma and grandpa taking care of the kids: Patterns of involvement. Child Trends Research Brief #2004-17.

Dealing With Toddler Temper Tantrums

Most of us have experienced the incredible tantrums of toddlers. It doesn’t matter who you are or where you are, all toddlers experience those moments. Toddlers have tantrums because they get frustrated easily and have very few problem-solving skills. Most likely, a tantrum will happen when toddlers are hungry, exhausted, or over-excited.

So what are you supposed to do when faced with a tantrum? Here are a few recommendations.

First, try to remain calm. Shaking, slapping, spanking or screaming at your child will only make the tantrum worse. Set a positive example for your child by remaining in control of yourself and your emotions. Count to ten (or 100) if you have to, but keep yourself in control.

Second, pause before you act. Take a deep breath, then take at least 30 seconds to decide how to handle the tantrum. Consider distracting them or taking them to a private place to calm down. Also, you might just hold them. Gently put your arms around them. You might even try whispering softly, telling your child to take a deep breath and then let the bad feeling go. This can be comforting to children because they don’t like to be out of control – it scares them.

Third, always wait until your child calms down before talking about the situation. You cannot reason with a screaming child. When your child is calm, talk about how he or she felt just before the tantrum and offer ways your child can show his or her frustration without the tantrum.

And, fourth, comfort and reassure your child that you still love them, even though you disapprove of their behavior. Tell your child that as he or she grows, they will be able to be in better control of their frustrations and angry feelings.


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BREAKING NEWS: The TRUE GRIT trailer!

The new trailer for Joel and Ethan Coen's True Grit remake is exciting, but it really makes me curious to see how it'll truly part company with the John Wayne original. Already, I can see Roger Deakins' photography as being a major player, as well as Hailee Steinfeld, who already seems a thousand times better than Kim Darby (though I do have affection for Darby's original performance). As my

BREAKING NEWS: The TRUE GRIT trailer!

The new trailer for Joel and Ethan Coen's True Grit remake is exciting, but it really makes me curious to see how it'll truly part company with the John Wayne original. Already, I can see Roger Deakins' photography as being a major player, as well as Hailee Steinfeld, who already seems a thousand times better than Kim Darby (though I do have affection for Darby's original performance). As my

School Drop Outs

According to the Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development, remaining in school is the single most important action adolescents can take to improve their future economic prospects. Individual state laws, along with innovative dropout prevention programs have helped reduce the number of teens dropping out of schools nationwide.

A variety of factors influence whether or not a teen will do poorly or succeed in school. We know from research that students who do poorly in school tend to believe their success or failure is beyond their control, while students who do well tend to believe their success is because they are smart, and any failure is because they did not try hard enough. To help, parents can applaud their children’s ability when they do well in school and their effort when they do poorly.

In addition, students whose parents were not involved in their school are more likely to repeat a grade, be suspended or expelled, have poor grades and have behavior problems compared to those whose parents are involved.

While most parents want their children to do well in school, by the time teens reach 12th grade, only half of parents are involved in school activities, such as attending a school meeting or event. It is especially important for parents of teens to remain involved in their school. Creating partnerships among schools, parents and key community organizations in joint responsibility for adolescents’ educational achievement and healthy development can continue to reduce the number of kids dropping out of school.

SOURCES:

What to Know about Dropping Out of School: A publication for professionals who work with adolescents and the parents of adolescents, (1998), Kathleen Boyce Rodgers, University of Tennessee Agricultural Extension Service.

Great Transitions: Preparing Adolescents for a New Century: Concluding Report of the Carnegie Council on Adolescent Development. Carnegie Corporation of New York. (October, 1995). New York, NY.

Steinberg, L. & Levine, A. (1990). You and your adolescent: A parent’s guide for ages 10-20. New York: Harper Collins, 1990.

NYFF Review 1: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Like most memorable movies, David Fincher's The Social Network hooks us with its first scene, which begins, unusually, while the studio logo is still on screen. Mark Zuckerberg (a beautifully intense Jesse Eisenberg) and his date, Erica Albright (the magnificent Rooney Mara) are ramping up to rage through Aaron Sorkin's juggernaut dialogue. Though Erica is trying to be friendly, Zuckerberg is

NYFF Review 1: THE SOCIAL NETWORK

Like most memorable movies, David Fincher's The Social Network hooks us with its first scene, which begins, unusually, while the studio logo is still on screen. Mark Zuckerberg (a beautifully intense Jesse Eisenberg) and his date, Erica Albright (the magnificent Rooney Mara) are ramping up to rage through Aaron Sorkin's juggernaut dialogue. Though Erica is trying to be friendly, Zuckerberg is

Notes on the 2010 NYFF: THE SOCIAL NETWORK press conference

The New York Film Festival has been kind enough to provide, for those of us without cameras, full coverage of the post-screening press conference for The Social Network, with writer Aaron Sorkin, star Jesse Eisenberg, director David Fincher, and stars Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake in the hot seats. I was there in the third row, middle seat, but I couldn't get my question in (I really

Notes on the 2010 NYFF: THE SOCIAL NETWORK press conference

The New York Film Festival has been kind enough to provide, for those of us without cameras, full coverage of the post-screening press conference for The Social Network, with writer Aaron Sorkin, star Jesse Eisenberg, director David Fincher, and stars Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake in the hot seats. I was there in the third row, middle seat, but I couldn't get my question in (I really

Teens, Drugs and Family Dinners

Did you know that the more often children eat dinner with their family, the less likely they are to smoke, drink, or use illegal drugs?

A study by the center on addiction and substance abuse reveals that teens who eat dinner with their families more than three times a week have half the risk of substance abuse than teens who eat with their families twice a week or less. This study adds to the growing pile of evidence that family dinners help strengthen family bonds.

Some may find this hard to believe, but, teens want to spend time with their families. Research from the Hawaii Department of Health reveals that two-thirds of the 10th and 12th graders surveyed want more opportunities to do fun things with their families, to share personal problems with their parents, and participate in decisions that affect them.

Children develop and maintain a sense of belonging within the family from these dinners. No matter what kind of day the child experiences, the routine of being part of a family is re-affirmed each night at dinner. This feeling of connectedness carries over into other aspects of the child’s life.

Scheduling family dinners gets more difficult as your child nears the 16 or 17-year old mark, because they are busy with their own life and able to drive themselves to school, jobs and friend’s houses. However, that’s also when their risk-taking behavior takes an abrupt upswing. Insisting that the child value the family’s shared dinner times may take some doing, but providing the tools to help your child resist drugs and alcohol is a worthwhile goal.

Notes on the 2010 New York Film Festival: 1

A couple months ago, I'd have slapped you and called you a loon if you'd have told me that, today, I'd be in the third row of the Walter Reade Theater, seeing the first public NYC screening of the Movie of the Now, David Fincher's The Social Network, with its writer (Aaron Sorkin), director, and three leads (Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake) in attendance. But, indeed, this

Notes on the 2010 New York Film Festival: 1

A couple months ago, I'd have slapped you and called you a loon if you'd have told me that, today, I'd be in the third row of the Walter Reade Theater, seeing the first public NYC screening of the Movie of the Now, David Fincher's The Social Network, with its writer (Aaron Sorkin), director, and three leads (Jesse Eisenberg, Andrew Garfield and Justin Timberlake) in attendance. But, indeed, this

Autumnal Equinox and the rate of change of the length of the day

Today is the Autumnal Equinox, one of two Equinoxes of the year. These are days that mark the transition from one season to the next, but also are days that have very special significance as the Earth orbits the Sun. Because of the tilt of the Earth's rotational axis, the Northern and Southern Hemispheres receive radically different amounts of sunlight from June through December, as the seasons progress from Summer to Fall to Winter (northern hemisphere). This is well understood and we learn from basic science courses that the in-between points while transitioning from Summer to Winter, for example, are the days that have equal periods of the Sun above the horizon and below the horizon -- equal duration of night and day -- hence Equinox. Today, everywhere on the planet, the Sun spent exactly 12 hours above the horizon and 12 below, and the Sun rose due East and set due West. From now through March, the Sun will be above the horizon more than 12 hours a day in the Southern Hemisphere, and less than 12 hours a day in the Northern Hemisphere.

I love the symmetry and simplicity of the Sun's motion on this day. It marks a transition as the days are getting shorter in the Northern Hemisphere. Everyone can feel the shortening of the days and sense, innately, that the changes in daylight and darkness are sudden and surprising. This is another fascinating change happening at the Equinox, more subtle but no less fascinating to me. When people sense the changes to the onset of darkness in the evening or the late sunrise in the morning, they are noticing that the length of the day is changing quite quickly and they feel that the times of day that might have been bright and sunny only a few weeks ago are now getting dark. At the time of the Equinox, the length of the day is changing most rapidly. For example, here in the San Francisco Bay Area, the longest day in summer is nearly 15 hours long and in winter the shortest day is approximately 9 1/2 hours. As the seasons change, the time of sunset and sunrise changes slowly, starting at the solstice in June - maybe only 1/2 to 1 minute per day. But then the changing becomes more rapid approaching the Equinox. At the time of the Equinox this week, the length of a day is changing 3 minutes per day -- that is, about 20 minutes in one week! So if you feel like the length of the days is changing very fast, you are absolutely correct.

The change is even more dramatic the farther north or south you are. For example, in Alaska, the length of the day is changing right now about 5-6 minutes per day, or about 40 minutes in one week! Imagine how that would feel, and it is a natural thing that happens every Spring and Fall. I think it is amazing how much the seasons impact the different geographies of the world, and a little understanding of the natural foundation for these effects is a nice thing to have.

Jupiter's closest approach to Earth

Today Jupiter is at its closest point to Earth for 2010, a mere 368 million miles. Although not a particularly astonishing event, it is nonetheless a prime time to get out your binoculars or telescope to view the giant planet as it dominates the night sky. Jupiter is a fun target to view up close because it offers so much to see: Four bright Moons, colors and textures from its cloud belts, and for a brief time right now it guides you to find the distant planet Uranus.

Every year as the Earth moves around the Sun, at some point in time it is at its closest approach to Jupiter. This moment is called "opposition" and is when the Earth, Sun and Jupiter are all in a perfect line. Each year the distance between the Earth and Jupiter might be a bit more or less depending upon the circumstances of each planet's orbit. This year, the distance is smaller than usual (closest since 1963 and until 2022), but that difference is relatively small from year to year. More important is that the planet is at its brightest for the year, and remains high in the sky for optimum viewing for the entire night.

Sky and Telescope Magazine has an excellent article about this close encounter if you want more details.

Reframing Your Toddler's Annoying Behaviors

Raising a toddler sure is fun. But it can also be frustrating can’t it? Many behaviors during early childhood leave parents questioning their parenting skills. Have you ever caught yourself thinking that your little ones are just trying to drive you crazy? Relax. They are not. Their behavior is probably following the normal “ages and stages” journey to growing up. If we reframe our thoughts about their behavior, it can be easier to deal with.

Crying – Instead of: “She’s trying to get at me.” Think: “She sure lets me know she needs something. What a communicator!”

Thumb sucking – Instead of: “He’s such a wimp. He’s going to ruin his teeth.” Think: “Isn’t it great that he’s found a way to comfort himself?”

Separation protests – Instead of : “She’s so spoiled! I can’t move without her hanging on my leg.” Think: “I sure am special to her. She really knows I’ll take care of her.”

Getting into things – Instead of : “What a pain in the neck. He won’t ever stay out of my stuff.” Think: “He’s so curious and eager to learn. He wants to see and touch everything. That must be so exciting for him. I need to childproof his world.”

Saying “No” – Instead of: “She’s so defiant. She better learn some respect fast.” Think: “She’s becoming so independent. She needs to show me she has a mind of her own.”

Throwing food – Instead of “She’s so messy and badly behaved.” Think: “She must be finished eating. She’s going to have a great fast-pitch some day!”

Reframing doesn’t mean you don’t take steps to teach the good behavior, such as “Let’s not throw the food. If you’re done, you can go play.” It simply means if you put a more positive though in your head, you can deal with the behavior in a more constructive way.

If you are frustrated over your child’s behaviors, educate yourself about your child’s age and stage of growth. This will help you react to your child’s difficult behaviors in a better way. Spend some time this week reframing your thoughts and let me know if it helped.

When your child doesn't want to go to school

When a child says she or he feels sick, has a headache, stomachache, or a sore throat right before it's time to leave for school, and does this frequently, this is likely a case of school phobia or school refusal. What parent hasn't faced this issue?

The reasons for this frustrating behavior can vary. Family problems may play a part, such as a recent move, a new baby in the house, separation, or illness of a parent. Bullying at school, homework that isn't finished and problems with school work are also common reasons that children don't want to go to school.

First, take your child to the doctor for a physical to make sure there are no true health problems. Have a talk with your child's teachers, ask if they know the cause of your child's behavior and if they have any helpful suggestions.

If your child still appears anxious about going to school or has been allowed to stay home because of school refusal, make sure your child knows you are there to support him and that you are available to talk. This will help your child to know that her problems are being taken seriously.

Involve your child in planning how to best overcome the issue. Ask, "You seem to have a tummy ache every morning, what do you think the real problem is?" or "Let's talk about your morning headache and try to figure out what we can do about it because you can't be missing school like this."

Missing a lot of school can be damaging and keeping your child out of school will usually make the problem worse. Once you have investigated the possible causes, and offered your support as a parent, you may have to "push" your child out to school.

When you do allow your child to stay home and believe that he or she is sincerely sick, don't make his or her day a fun day. If watching TV, eating cookies and playing all day becomes more rewarding than going to school, you'll never get your child into the classroom - at least not with the attitude he needs for learning.

Accessing Your Child's Readiness for Self Care

During your child's school years, you will eventually consider the possibility of your child caring for him or herself instead of being cared for by others. Many children take care of themselves after school, in the evening, on weekends, or during school vacations - whenever a parent or other adult cannot be home with them. It is estimated that a quarter of our children care for themselves after school. Of course all children will eventually have to take care of themselves as part of their maturing process.

I often get asked at what age is a child allowed to stay at home alone for a few hours. There actually is no "legal" age set in Hillsborough County for this. It depends on many factors, including the child's maturity level and safety of the neighborhood. There is simply no magic age at which children develop the maturity (and good sense) needed to stay alone.

Your own feelings as a parent are also important in making this decision. Do you feel comfortable with your child staying alone? Are you ready to give your child more independence and freedom? Has your child earned more freedom? Are you confident that your child will be safe and will make wise choices while home alone? Will you feel good about your child's care?

For more information on how to prepare your child for self care, see our publication "Home Alone: Children in Self Care" at http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/pdffiles/FY/FY64700.pdf

At what age do you think your child was (or will be) ready for self care?

My Movie Poster Collection: F

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:FANNY AND ALEXANDER (Ingmar Bergman, 83). Folded, GAn august one-sheet for Ingmar Bergman's finest work. Its simplicity and subtle coloring wisely doesn't match but also goes perfectly with much of the film. It's a stunning poster with elegant lettering, too. Meanwhile, the movie itself is

My Movie Poster Collection: F

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:FANNY AND ALEXANDER (Ingmar Bergman, 83). Folded, GAn august one-sheet for Ingmar Bergman's finest work. Its simplicity and subtle coloring wisely doesn't match but also goes perfectly with much of the film. It's a stunning poster with elegant lettering, too. Meanwhile, the movie itself is

Blue Star, Red Star, Yellow Star

When conducting a star party, I always point out star colors. Most of the time, people see the stars as uniformly white, but in fact upon closer inspection it's easy to see that stars have color, sometimes very dramatic color. This time of year there are several colorful bright stars that illustrate nicely the range of what you can see in the sky.

The southern sky is dominated by the distinctive shape of Scorpius, the Scorpion of the Zodiac constellations. The "heart" of this constellation is the bright red supergiant star Antares. It is in the middle of the body of the scorpion and it is one of the biggest stars we can see, so big that if places in the Solar System it would enclose Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars. To the observer, it looks a reddish-orange color.

High above this time of year is the Summer Triangle, featuring three of the brightest stars in the sky. One of these three is Deneb in the constellation Cygnus, the "Northern Cross." Deneb appears blue to the observer and in fact is indeed a blue-white supergiant star, similar to Antares in terms of massive size, brightness and distance from the Sun.

These two beautiful stars should be enough to whet your appetite for detail when you look at the night sky. They are bright enough and easy to spot and display color quite nicely. But don't stop there. A simple pair of binoculars gets you enough resolution to see an amazing array of color in so many of the stars in the sky.

The colors of the stars is an indication of their temperature. Like the different levels of heat in flame, the colors of stars follows a similar pattern with red being cooler and blue being hotter. There are yellow stars, hotter than the red giants, and next in line are white stars, cooler than the blue stars. Details of Stellar Classification and Color Index are documented on very fine websites for those who want to learn more about star colors.

My Movie Poster Collection: G

Looking over them now, I really think my collection of G-titled film posters is the most exciting alphabetical grouping of the bunch...so far, at least, this is true. What follows is a tasty collection of popping movie film art and relevant movie photography. Lemme know what you think. As always, click on the poster for a closer look. GALLIPOLI (Peter Weir, 81). Folded, VG]Is there a poster

My Movie Poster Collection: G

Looking over them now, I really think my collection of G-titled film posters is the most exciting alphabetical grouping of the bunch...so far, at least, this is true. What follows is a tasty collection of popping movie film art and relevant movie photography. Lemme know what you think. As always, click on the poster for a closer look. GALLIPOLI (Peter Weir, 81). Folded, VG]Is there a poster

My Movie Poster Collection: H

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:HANNAH AND HER SISTERS (Woody Allen, 86). Folded, GIn his history of very minimal one-sheets, Woody Allen's okay to this emotional, positive, familial-love-exuding image must stand alone is its sheer happiness. It's an interesting counterpart to his stark image of three troubled sisters on the Interiors

My Movie Poster Collection: H

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:HANNAH AND HER SISTERS (Woody Allen, 86). Folded, GIn his history of very minimal one-sheets, Woody Allen's okay to this emotional, positive, familial-love-exuding image must stand alone is its sheer happiness. It's an interesting counterpart to his stark image of three troubled sisters on the Interiors

KFOG Podcast - September 10, 2010

Another fun visit with Irish Greg of the KFOG Morning Show, today featuring a discussion of constellations to see this time of year (Sagittarius, Scorpius, The Summer Triangle) and the difference between an asterism and a constellation, plus deep-space objects you can see in the Milky Way with an ordinary pair of binoculars. And the latest happenings with the Moon and Venus, and an update on a great star party and lecture this weekend. All in 7 short minutes! Click here to listen.

My Movie Poster Collection: I

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:I WALK THE LINE (John Frankenheimer, 70). Folded, VGI bought this at first glance. I had never heard of the movie, but the sight of a golden-age actor (Gregory Peck) giving what for to a hippie-age actor (the beautiful Tuesday Weld) is too dynamic to ignore. I saw the movie after I bought this. I liked

My Movie Poster Collection: I

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:I WALK THE LINE (John Frankenheimer, 70). Folded, VGI bought this at first glance. I had never heard of the movie, but the sight of a golden-age actor (Gregory Peck) giving what for to a hippie-age actor (the beautiful Tuesday Weld) is too dynamic to ignore. I saw the movie after I bought this. I liked

Get Involved: Astronomy Lectures, Star Parties and more

The Bay Area has many great astronomy resources and if you want to expand your knowledge of the universe and have a good time, check out one of these upcoming astronomy-oriented events.

Star Party and Lecture on Mount Tamalpais: The San Francisco Amateur Astronomers (SFAA) hosts monthly lectures and star parties at the Mountain Theater on Mount Tam in Marin County from April through October. Ken Frank is giving a talk this weekend (Saturday 11th September at 8:30 pm) on the Globe At Night project, highlighting the effects of light pollution

worldwide. Details on the Mount Tam website. Following the lecture, the SFAA has telescopes set up for public viewing.

Benjamin Dean Lecture Series at Cal Academy: The California Academy of Sciences in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco hosts excellent programs on many areas of science. The Dean Lectures focus on astronomy and this month (Monday 13th September at 7:30 pm) the talk is on the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI) with Jon Jenkins of the SETI Institute. Tickets and information at the Cal Academy website.

The San Francisco Amateur Astronomers monthly meeting is always open to the public. This month's meeting features NASA Ames astronomer Chris McKay speaking about extreme environments on heavenly bodies in the Solar System. The meeting is on Wednesday 15th September at 7:30 pm at the Randall Museum in San Francisco. More details on the SFAA Website.

I hope to see you at one of these excellent events.

My Answers to the Good Professor.

Geez, I just haven't been able to sleep all night. Not after reading PROFESSOR DAVID HUXLEY’S LABORIOUS, LICENTIOUS SPOTTED-LEOPARD LABOR DAY FILM QUIZ on Dennis Cozzalio's consistently terrific Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule. The questions were just too surprising, thought-squeezing, and weird to get out of my head. So I had to reply to them here. You can read the rules over at

My Answers to the Good Professor.

Geez, I just haven't been able to sleep all night. Not after reading PROFESSOR DAVID HUXLEY’S LABORIOUS, LICENTIOUS SPOTTED-LEOPARD LABOR DAY FILM QUIZ on Dennis Cozzalio's consistently terrific Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule. The questions were just too surprising, thought-squeezing, and weird to get out of my head. So I had to reply to them here. You can read the rules over at

My Movie Poster Collection: J-K

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:JACKIE BROWN (Quentin Tarantino, 97). Rolled, pre-release, GA beautiful pre-release poster, that went along with 7 character posters highlighting the main players in this, Tarantino's most mature and lyrical film. I like the injection of Christmas-tinged soul here by referring to James Brown's hit.

My Movie Poster Collection: J-K

Remember that you can always click on the images themselves to see them (hopefully) larger:JACKIE BROWN (Quentin Tarantino, 97). Rolled, pre-release, GA beautiful pre-release poster, that went along with 7 character posters highlighting the main players in this, Tarantino's most mature and lyrical film. I like the injection of Christmas-tinged soul here by referring to James Brown's hit.