Meal-time Battles and Diets

The diet industry represents a multi-billion dollar industry today. New books and diet programs appear almost every week with offers to help us FINALLY figure out how to eat right and stay in shape. While these programs are typically targeted to adults, the adults who are dealing with their own nutrition issues are also raising the next generation … often with the same rules they learned as kids. Or they are imposing new rules on their children. In many cases, neither of these are appropriate for children.

For example, according to Ellyn Satter, low-fat food is neither nutritionally appropriate nor appealing to toddlers (much less adults!). Likewise, for all the Atkin’s followers out there, starches are not only good for children, but appealing. Satter recommends always having bread and a second starchy food on the table.
Another important shift in philosophy is over control. For all of you raised by the “yours is not to question why, yours is but to do or die” parenting style, consider this. Satter says you’re too controlling if you make your child stay at the table to eat her vegetables; make your child clean her plate or eat everything else before she can have dessert; or if you make your child get by on only three meals a day. However, she says you aren’t providing your child enough structure and limits if you give your child a snack whenever she wants one; let your child behave badly at the table; short-order cook for her; or let your child have juice or milk whenever she wants it. Like most issues of parenting… there’s plenty of give and take.

Adults with Kids at Home Eat More Fat

When my children were young, and as a working mom, I often sought the foods that I could put on the table quickly and without hearing the dreaded, “Ewwww… do I have to eat THAT?!” I also loaded my pantry with those easy-to-distribute and “fun” to eat pre-packaged snacks that were easy to throw in a backpack, lunch box, or that my children could grab when they got home from school.

Unfortunately, many of those foods are loaded with fat. Like so many other parents who make these same food choices for their children, that fat also ended up in my diet.

According to a study recently published in the Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine, adults who have young children at home are eating significantly more fat than those who live without children. Using data from the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey that included a national sample of almost 7,000 adults, researchers from the University of Iowa found that adults with children in their home consumed nearly 5 more grams of fat and 1.7 more grams of saturated fat every day – about the same as a slice of pepperoni pizza! Figure that amounts to eating a pizza a week!

They reported that “time pressures and constraints, children’s preferences for high fat, high sugar foods and parents’ perceptions of what children are likely to eat” lead parents to purchase more restaurant, ready-to-eat, or snack foods that are typically higher in fat content. And, when they are available, parents are more likely to eat these foods as well.

The researchers point out that while parents should be guiding what their children eat, instead the kids are influencing their parents’ diets. They recommend that parents seek healthier meal and snack options that will improve the diet of the entire family!

Avoiding Food Fights

When you think of food fights, you might recall a raucous scene in the classic 1978 film, "Animal House." However when raising a toddler, "food fight" takes on a different meaning. What's a parent to do with a child who refuses to eat meat or only eats PB&J for a week?

It's common for toddlers to go through a "food jag" stage, eating the same thing at every meal, or refusing to eat anything that's red or orange. There are several reasons for this, so don't take it personally if your toddler has suddenly taken a dislike to your cooking.

First, it's completely normal for a child's appetite to vary from day to day. They usually eat only when hungry and stop when full. As long as they are growing well, they are probably getting the nutrients they need.

Second, some children are sensitive to food textures and tastes. They may not like the way something (such as hamburger or chicken) feels in their mouth. They may also dislike the way certains foods look, for example, spaghetti can look like worms to a toddler. As they grow, this sensitivity usually goes away and they learn to enjoy a wider variety of flavors, textures and colors.

Third, a food jag is one way that a toddler has some control over his or her world. He is asserting his independence. I suggest you relax and allow your toddler a little power in deciding what he or she will eat. Often, the less attention we give to frustrating behaviors, the faster our children move through such stages.

Be sure to offer nutritious foods suitable for a child's age, set regular meal and snack times, and serve foods that look appealing to young children. As a parent, you are responsible for deciding what foods are offered, and children are responsible for deciding whether to eat and how much to eat. What a liberating concept!

And when they choose not to eat, tell them, "That's okay; just sit and keep me company while I eat."